I got my profile picture from Nina Paley's blog. It was a quite nice piece and one day I'll tell her about my using it here. I find myself identifying with her stance on Free Culture, and I think of the profile picture as my personal tribute to her.

The image was chosen since it seemed apt in lots of ways. Parashurama the Axe-Wielding Brahmin as Ms. Paley identifies him wields, well, an axe; the Pi Quan of Hsing-I quan that I had the privilege to learn has the characteristic of an axe, splitting the target. But more importantly, Parashurama is an axe - he is a warrior who has honed himself as sharp as any blade. I identify with this process of honing, of taking away until what is left is able to do its purpose at its most efficient.

The honing leaves an edge, and martial arts seem to always function the best at the edges of things; indeed, they are probably for use during those times when life is on the edge, when there is uncertainty. My practice currently is about finding my own thing in this chaotic situation, of being unmoved as laid out in the "Tengu Geijutsuron," a book that combines ideas from many sources - many of which descended from concepts that in turn originated from India.

No less important to mention is Parashurama's dual nature. Call it a remnant of the boy in me; Neil Gaiman introduced me to the idea that little girls dream that they are secretly princesses, and perhaps for little boys it's that they are secretly gods. Of course, they dream that they are gods, but they believe they are actually pretty amazing heroes.

I used to wish to be something amazing, and for some time when the going would get tough I would still reserve a small measure of self-delusion that I was better than other people. The training that real life gives took that from me years ago, but I still do remember how comforting those fantasies were.

As I grow older I tend to see it happening again and again, things falling away from me like the sparks from a sharpening tool, a continuous honing until even my existence has been worn away. But Parashurama exists, and continues to exist even now. He is in the world. He is no symbol of hope that may never come, no King in the Mountain. He is in the world, doing what he can and leaving what little he can't do up to Heaven - where, as Vishnu, he does even more.