알고 있는 팬들만

I have a problem.

There is a group out there I really like, they can be easily identified if I mentioned their initials.  They seem to be very different from the usual celebrities that I get to know of. They've been doing quite well, except that they got into quite a nasty situation this year. It's become quite a big deal, and they are really having to endure a lot of pain as a result.

I don't really know them; all I know I got from reading things on the Internet or watching their appearances. I've never worked with them or talked to them or even met them. But their being around has made me smile and laugh more often than usual. I cringe inside when I see them having to go through awkward situations. My outlook in life has been a little bit brighter because of them, even though the obstacles I have to face are still as heavy and dark as ever.

Everyone wants answers on what truly happened with one of their members. People are feeling betrayed. But what I feel is gratitude, for what they have done for me so far. It's amazing, how they have the power to inspire someone from so far away. To someone who does not smile much at all, every barely-suppressed grin is a treasure. They have improved the texture of my life.

 I would like it if their persecution would stop. They are dedicated women, very strong and chasing after such a big dream. In no time at all the dream may end on its own, and I'd like it if the quality of their memories of this time would be as unblemished as possible. Continuing on punishing them like this is like polluting a river - everyone doesn't care that everybody else is doing the same thing, and so what was once a clean waterway soon becomes stagnant and dirty.

They're people. They fail to measure up too, sometimes. But they have dreams and people to support and loved ones who are affected when they are crucified by a few lines of text or a few minutes of video that have been taken the wrong way. If we take their livelihood away from them, it is not just them who will be inconvenienced. They're people - they couldn't have known what would happen to one of their own or what effect their words would have. Putting them on such high pedestals just makes them more liable to fall.  

My problem is that I have no power to act on this feeling. I am alone while the ones doing the hating are many. I am anonymous, but so are they. They are acting on what they hope for the most, and they are acting with such energy that I could never match them. I have no money or connections or skills that could be put to use. Indeed, I feel that no matter what I do right now the pain they will have to face won't be lessened by much.

But I've decided to live with that painful knowledge and do what I can. Though my best may not achieve my goal, doing so at least brings me a bit closer (hopefully). And perhaps my feelings will carry over, and like the magic that touched me one weekend the world could be made right again for them.