The best thing about living in a society is that a lot of things are guaranteed for you. There is no need to protect your territory, to be stronger or faster or meaner than those you encounter. There is no need to be particularly smart or exceptional, even - a good society supports its members regardless of mediocrity. This is because a citizen may yet find their calling and enrich the society by his existence; or at the very least perpetuate the society and its current culture. The support provided is part of a contract where in exchange the receivers of this support are expected to perform obligations that ensure the continued longevity of the provider.

Upon being born, we are provided support by our State. To me that seems more a debt incurred than anything. Unable to understand the contract, we are still provided for with the expectation that we will pay it back once we are considered to be of age. Feeling entitled to the rights we are told to have is quite the wrong way to think about it. We are mitochondria in the great Cell that is our society.

I wonder if that deadens us somewhat. Because we are in such a structured environment it becomes difficult to adopt a different mentality that is suited for the chaos outside. Even inside, there is still chaos; society is only able to partially tame the wildness of life.  But most of the time we see only what we are comfortable in telling ourselves to see. We impose our wants and fantasies on a world that is largely indifferent, when all that is really guaranteed to us is the journey and not the destination.

Life humbles us, that is a fact. Perhaps it is just luck that we have not been humbled more than others. But the journey - the struggle -  is something fortune cannot take away, so it seems right to be grateful for that. Indeed, it is probably the only thing any of us can call our own.

I got my profile picture from Nina Paley's blog. It was a quite nice piece and one day I'll tell her about my using it here. I find myself identifying with her stance on Free Culture, and I think of the profile picture as my personal tribute to her.

The image was chosen since it seemed apt in lots of ways. Parashurama the Axe-Wielding Brahmin as Ms. Paley identifies him wields, well, an axe; the Pi Quan of Hsing-I quan that I had the privilege to learn has the characteristic of an axe, splitting the target. But more importantly, Parashurama is an axe - he is a warrior who has honed himself as sharp as any blade. I identify with this process of honing, of taking away until what is left is able to do its purpose at its most efficient.

The honing leaves an edge, and martial arts seem to always function the best at the edges of things; indeed, they are probably for use during those times when life is on the edge, when there is uncertainty. My practice currently is about finding my own thing in this chaotic situation, of being unmoved as laid out in the "Tengu Geijutsuron," a book that combines ideas from many sources - many of which descended from concepts that in turn originated from India.

No less important to mention is Parashurama's dual nature. Call it a remnant of the boy in me; Neil Gaiman introduced me to the idea that little girls dream that they are secretly princesses, and perhaps for little boys it's that they are secretly gods. Of course, they dream that they are gods, but they believe they are actually pretty amazing heroes.

I used to wish to be something amazing, and for some time when the going would get tough I would still reserve a small measure of self-delusion that I was better than other people. The training that real life gives took that from me years ago, but I still do remember how comforting those fantasies were.

As I grow older I tend to see it happening again and again, things falling away from me like the sparks from a sharpening tool, a continuous honing until even my existence has been worn away. But Parashurama exists, and continues to exist even now. He is in the world. He is no symbol of hope that may never come, no King in the Mountain. He is in the world, doing what he can and leaving what little he can't do up to Heaven - where, as Vishnu, he does even more.  

  

How I will write

I would like to set down standards that I could hold myself to with regard to writing. My digressions may not give much in the way of wisdom but at least no one will be able to fault my style.

The way I see it, each post amounts to an essay; I have been writing essays from a very early age, so there should be no problem there. Of course, all of us have written essays; the problem for me is how to do so well, or at least in a manner which would distinguish this blog. This blog, which up to now has absolutely no focus or overarching theme, nor could be expected to gain one in the very near future; this blog, which due to my lack of artistic talent won't be able to offer pictures or video anytime soon.  

For inspiration, I thought to look up Michel de Montaigne. It seemed like a good idea to get pointers from the author of the best examples of the form. I will someday have to read his work, but for now I knew how to go about things.

Essays are supposed to be short. They address subjects which the writer has personal experience about. The tone of a good essay is informal, even intimate - like two friends shooting the breeze over at a bar. An essay does not preach, it goes over its topic with objectivity. It is absent of any presumption or posturing.

This will be how I write.    

Hi all.

This is my first post. The first time is always hard, and as I am typing this I am coming to the uncomfortable realization that I really don't have anything amazing to say about anything, let alone such a historic occasion as the inaugural post of a blog; then again I am doing this in the spirit of making something, so please excuse the awkwardness.

I want to make something, is the intent I want to say lies behind the creation of this blog. I am no artist, no genius. I'm the average bloke who life has largely passed on by. I am largely lazy and unfocused and that is why I want to set out  with this blog - there are things I want to be and things I want to do, and I want to record stuff for the only audience I really want to be reading this.

By audience, I'm talking about the me years from now. Solipsistic, I know; I am a bit crazy.

There are some things I care about and these subjects will be mostly what goes into my blog. I promise I won't go into rants too often.